В санатории
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В санатории в женской палате на четыре места, жила девушка по фамилии - Семен. В палату входит медсестра и спрашивает: “ Семен есть? “ Женщина из этой палаты повышенным голосом спросила: “ Какой Семен, вы, что не видите это женская палата!”
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В одном селе парень стоит на обочине дороги и ждет проезжающую машину, чтоб подвезла, мимо проезжал дед на конях- остановился, предложил парню подвезти его. Парень сел на подводу и решил пообщаться о чём-то с дедом, он плохо знал украинский язык, спросил: "Дедушка как зовут вашего кончика?" Дед возмутился от такого вопроса и согнал парня: "Извращенец!" (Деду даже в голову не пришло, что парень имел виду лошадку.)
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Очередь к гинекологу, подходит мужчина. "Кто последний?"- спросил он. "Я!"- ответила одна из женщин. Сидим, ждём. Подходит ещё женщина: "За кем я буду?" Мужчина сказал: "За мной!" Женщина посмотрела на него, улыбнулась и сказала: "Проходите без очереди!" Он подскочил к кабинету, увидел надпись на двери и, краснея, быстро ушел.
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Парень спросил продавца: "Сколько стоит стакан чая?" "Коробка Рафаэлло",- ответила она.
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Я поехала в больницу на УЗИ всех органов. Доктор меня осмотрел, вдруг у него увеличились глаза, и он удивлённым голосом выдал: «О, и матка есть». Я не долго думая спросила: «Доктор, а что не должно быть?» Пол-то у меня женский.
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У бабушки Веры жила кошка Мурка, она была беременная. Баба не хотела пополнее котят и решила избавиться от кошки, заранее вывезла её в соседнее село. Прошло два месяца, баба Вера работала в огороде, и вдруг увидела свою Мурку, но не одну, а с тремя котятами.
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В одной семье жил кот Тиша он, как и большинство котов любил лазить по столу, за, что его неоднократно наказывали. Но была история, когда кота не наказали, из - за его сообразительности, он стащил из тарелки большую жареную рыбу, принес её в зубах к Наде, она его кормила в этом месте, сел и кушает. Естественно родители Нади подумали, что это она ему дала рыбу.
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Много лет тому назад, когда машины, еще были большой роскошью и людям приходилось пересекать большие расстояния пешком, произошла забавная история. В одном селе жили: баба Наталка и дед Федот. У них была очень старая корова Зорька с телёнком. Дедушка с бабушкой посоветовались и приняли решение, что пришла пора сдавать свою корову на бойню. Дед проснулся на рассвете, привязал Зорьку на цепь и повел в город на бойню. Шли они долго, пришли только к вечеру, когда бойня уже не работала. Дед попросился на ночёвку к людям, Зоряну привязали во дворе. Ночью бабу Наталку разбудил рёв коровы, пока дед спал, корова решила вернуться домой к своему телёнку. Вечером вернулся дед с плохой новостью - кто-то украл корову. Бабка улыбнувшись, сказала деду: "Корова давно уже дома".
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Нико парень из солнечной Грузии, лечился в санатории им. Бурденко. Вышел на коридор и кричит: "Нянька, нянька!" Нянечка выглядывает из соседней палаты и говорит: "Подожди, я занята!" Нико с удивлением на лице и с возмущением в голосе спросил: "Зачем мне ждать? Ты мне сейчас нужна".
Нико в своей палате громко зовёт нянечку. Нянечка входит в палату и говорит: "Нико, почему ты орёшь, вот у тебя над кроватью кнопка, включай её, я увижу, что она горит и приду". Нико ей в ответ: "Зачем мне кнопка, мне нянька нужна!"
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